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Google Suggest

Whilst everybody is busy carving pumpkins and dressing up as scantily clad cats, I thought I’d write a quick post featuring some shocking suggested search queries served up by Google.  This has also presented me with a golden opportunity to throw in some extremely lame attempts at Halloween related humor, so I offer my apologies in advance.

Google Suggest is (occasionally) a great way of finding out what the majority of people search for around a particular subject. When I typed in the beginning of some general queries, though, I was spooked at what I saw!

Google Suggest, or AutoComplete, is the feature that brings up a list of complete search queries beneath the search box when you begin to type. Typing in some simple words reveals petrifying preoccupations, eerie ignorance, and some queasy questions.

I warn you, you might get carried away with your own freaky Google Suggest searches after reading these.

Google Suggest – disturbingly morbid

Google’s users seem to have a rather chilling preoccupation with the death of famous figures who still have pulses. While “is” could be the beginning of many a conventional question, people just want to know who’s six feet under.

 

Google Suggest

Don’t worry, Mr Chan is still very much alive and “kicking”.

 

Google Suggest

 

Again, many years of creating political nostalgia and irritating people with new Windows operating systems ahead.

 

Google Suggest – think before you ask.

Google is a great resource for finding out the answers to difficult questions. There are some questions that only Google knows about, however, as no one would dare say them out loud.

 

Google SuggestWell done, Google searchers… third time lucky.

 

Google Suggest

Sheep, goats – all the same… apart from when your new sheepskin fleece isn’t quite as cosy as you’d hoped.

 

Google Suggest
Um, no. In fact, some people even find it beneficial to keep fish in water most of the time.

 

Google Suggest
As hard as they dig, archaeologists have yet to uncover 2,000 year-old microwaves in Jerusalem.

 

Google Suggest- just weird

There are also those questions that you never would have thought to ask, but luckily Google have you covered.  Do you dare press return and find out the answers?

 

Google Suggest

 

I don’t know, but maybe that’s something you should keep between you and Google… unless you’re lucky enough to find someone who shares your passion for sweaty walking apparatus.

 

Google Suggest

Better get set for a Prince Harry style Halloween party, then!

Now get set to spend the next three hours typing seemingly innocent words into the search box to see how many other weird and wonderful suggestions Google throws up to complete your seemingly innocuous questions.

If you do manage to drag yourself away and focus on more serious things, like getting your own website in the search results, Hallam Internet can help you achieve your goals. Whether you’re interested in search engine optimisation, email marketing, social media, or a range of other things, we’re experienced search marketers, committed to ethical and effective methods of getting you ranking.

4 responses to “A Selection of Scary Google Suggest Results”

  1. Adrian Lumsden says:

    Thanks for the laugh Susan. Some of those are really worrying 🙂

    Try “should women” and “should men” (should men wear thongs).

    Interestingly Google Suggest varies from place to place. If you go to http://www.google.co.nz/ncr and try the two above you’ll get different results.

    I’m wondering what’s going on in New Zealand and who is asking what when “can men” produces “can men lactate” and “can men breast feed” as suggestions!

    Cheers,
    Adrian

  2. Mike Hunter says:

    Hi Ben, great article, not so great Google functionality. The major frustration I have with Google suggest, is when searching on a smart phone or tablet, limited keyboard space makes it super easy to get the Google suggest result instead of your genuine search, for example when I search for one of the top translation sites “Proz” Google thinks I want “Prozac”, by the third time of trying to get the correct search term, I’m tempted to throw the phone across the room, which isn’t recommended by the manufacturers. Come on Google sort it out!

  3. Michael says:

    While these are generally pretty hilarious you should maybe read some of these google searches before you make fun of them.
    For example, the banana fruit is a kind of berry which grows on a “banana tree” which is, botanically speaking, a kind of herb, so it was less “third time lucky” and more “three for three”. I’m more concerned about the people who passed primary school unsure about whether or not birds are animals.
    Goats are about as closely related to sheep as horses are to donkeys or lions are to tigers so… yeah, it’s a pretty bad mistake but they can breed, sort of.
    And the Jesus question is just a humorous retelling of the omnipotence paradox: “Can God create a rock so heavy he can’t lift it?”

  4. kit says:

    The question can jesus microwave a burrito is from the simpsons where te lead character Homer Simpson asked his religious friend Ned if “Can jesus microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it?” He was high on marijuana that time.

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